


I'll Be Your Lifeline Tonight (I'd Jump Into Cold Water For You)

by 91daesmods



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sports, Enemies to Lovers, Intense School Rivalry, M/M, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 07:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8702443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/91daesmods/pseuds/91daesmods
Summary: kims should stick together, but jongdae and joonmyeon just aren’t clicking, so their relationship isn’t going swimmingly well.





	

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much to the mods who held another round of 91daes! thank you for also being able to deal with my inability to keep to deadlines and for being really nice about everything! i know that i haven’t really done much to do justice to these tags because i pretty much rushed it out, but i hope that it’s something that’s worth reading! thank you for reading this fic and i hope you really like it. i’m also sorry if some parts don’t gel.
> 
> also, i know nothing about competitive swimming terminologies and injuries, so i hope it was relevant and correct.

magikarp. weak. ineffective. and yet, a magikarp’s evolution into a menacing dragon-type pokemon, gyarados has haunted kim jongdae for a large portion of his life. (and no, it’s not _just_ a video game, it’s _pokemon_ ). he can't understand how a _magikarp_ , the water pokemon that only knows how to splash around for a good fifteen levels, could evolve into the feared, deep blue gyarados. _how?_ he just doesn't get it.

but that's also the very reason for his lifelong motto. 

_if a mere magikarp can evolve into a fear-inducing gyarados, a smol little kim jongdae can also turn into seoul’s greatest swimmer, kim jong_ bae.

that's right, he could be seoul’s before anyone else. seoul’s greatest. seoul’s pride.

and he really could, no lie. his track record is pristine. he's the fastest swimmer of his school despite his small stature, and he continues to wow his teammates with his ever-improving timings. someone who almost always exceeds expectations (with the exception of his physics grades).

standing in jongdae’s way, however, is kim joonmyeon. the captain of yongsan high’s swim team. and while jongdae is the vice-captain of incheon high, he finds that the only thing he's lost to joonmyeon. none of them have won in the height department. actually, maybe he _has won because he's a year younger than joonmyeon and yet they're both the same height, jongdae muses. then he pumps his fist into the air and beams._

_yes! another new thing to add to jongdae’s list of wins._

it earns a weird stare from minseok but whatever, he's elated enough to pay that no attention. nobody can bring him down.

☆

joonmyeon and jongdae have been rivals ever since the beginning. which doesn't really make sense because jongdae is a kim and so is joonmyeon. as far as jongdae knows, kims should stick together because that's just how it's supposed to go but isn't. in fact, it's the complete opposite. not that jongdae’s complaining, because as frustrating as it may seem, it keeps him amused at how joonmyeon keeps on trying to outdo him. (not that jongdae’s hasn't done the same before, but he's not about to just tell the whole world about it.)

it started when he had first joined the incheon high competitive swimming team. he always had an overflowing passion for water and the sport, finding great joy in plunging into cold water, gliding through and reaching the end of the fifty metre lap by his own merit. taking charge of his own body. it was something he found when he was at a public swimming pool his parents had brought him to and it was love at first sight. or love at first plunge. then he moved into competitive swimming, loving every inch of pride he felt when he came in first place in competitions. jongdae never really took to being second, anyway.

then kim joonmyeon came along, yongsan high’s pride and joy. well, more like jongdae came to know of him, the older boy having already been in their rival school’s swim team for a year. he was well-known amongst competitive swimmers in their age category. yongsan high never lost a competition ever since his joining of the team. as graceful as a dolphin and as fast as a shark. kim joonmyeon never disappoints. jongdae had always heard of joonmyeon but never really paid him any attention even when his seniors told him to watch out.

“he’s the fastest at 100m butterfly.” minseok had said. _how fast can he be at butterfly if he’s the same height as me_. jongdae thought, until he watched with his own eyes, joonmyeon gliding into the water with ease, clocking in with a personal best of 53:32s. that was the very moment kim jongdae swore to beat kim joonmyeon.

who cares about _kim_ ship anyway.

the intense competition was also fuelled by the long time rivalry between incheon high and yongsan high. (to top it off, joonmyeon’s rude attitude towards incheon high swimmers.) it had always been a constant power struggle between the two schools, the need to keep and maintain the championship title. however, ever since the entrance of kim joonmyeon, _seagod of yongsan high_ , incheon high never stood a chance.

incheon high needed to regain their title, what they thought belonged to them. and they had one sliver of hope by the name of kim jongdae.

☆

being in such close proximity, incheon high and yongsan high train at the same pool. incheon high takes mondays and wednesdays, while yongsan high takes tuesdays and thursdays. unfortunately, both teams train saturday mornings so there’s bound to be contact between the swimmers, whether they like it or not.

the first time they really meet in person is while jongdae’s drying his hair from practice and checking himself out in the large mirror in the male changing room. it just so happened that joonmyeon walked in and stared while jongdae lifted his chin to check out his jawline. _awkward_. it didn’t help that joonmyeon walked in, towel draped over his shoulder, his torso bare and glistening from the light bouncing off pool water on his skin. _hot_. jongdae shivered and he still doesn’t know if it’s because he was openly staring at a well-defined body or because he’s unbelievably thirsty for a rival.

he supposes it’s the first because he can’t be thirsty, he’s surrounded by water. (and yet, he is.)

so joonmyeon walked in without really noticing jongdae and headed straight for the showers and that’s when jongdae promptly snapped out of his daze. he did not stare at kim joonmyeon’s hot body. he couldn’t have. it’s against the rules. so he slapped his cheeks a few times and walked out of the changing room, confused and bothered. thank goodness none of his teammates were in there with him.

☆

they meet five months into intensive training. jongdae has already taken to the team - kim minseok, byun baekhyun, and park chanyeol being the three he’s spent the most time with. mostly because both baekhyun and chanyeol joined the same time he did. newcomer unity. minseok had been their mentor, and with his snarky comments, made his way into all of their hearts. jongdae has also taken to the rigorous training his school has for the competitive team. although official practice happens only three times a week, it’s widely known that they swim almost every day. coach song calls for extra practice twice a week, and jongdae often goes for individual training - pushing himself to achieve better timings each time. his muscles ache but it’s worth it.

it’s always worth it standing at the podium, a gleaming medal around his neck.

“you don’t practice enough,” someone says from behind jongdae while he’s drying off in the changing room. and it’s weird because jongdae had been alone the entire day he had been at the pool. jongdae turns and comes face to face with kim joonmyeon. he sighs. “what do you want, joonmyeon.” and he says it as more of a statement than a question, because he’s tired of joonmyeon.

“your posture is all wrong, but i’m not going to help you.”

jongdae scoffs, “as if i’d need you to tell me what’s wrong.” he doesn’t turn around to face the other. in the short months he’s known and seen joonmyeon around, he’s realised that joonmyeon is a real prick. he’s let his placing in competitions get to his head. just because he comes first, he acts haughty and proud and jongdae really, really can’t stand it. ( _he can’t even sit it._ ) he regrets ever checking out kim joonmyeon’s body the first time, regrets everything he’s fantasised about joonmyeon and ugh. joonmyeon’s absolutely full of himself.

“normally, i would agree, but you seem to need my help, second place.” 

another thing that pisses jongdae off. joonmyeon always, _always_ calls jongdae second place. jongdae could never hide his feelings well and he wears his heart on his sleeve. joonmyeon knows it gets on jongdae’s nerves, and does it more often. _second place_. it’s as if that’s the only thing that defines him. _second place_. but it’s not because he has... he has chanyeol and baekhyun and minseok and supportive parents and good grades and... _second place_.

“don’t be too full of yourself, kim.” he rebukes, jaw tightening.

he can hear joonmyeon sniggering from behind him and he hates to think of the face he’s making. “i know where my strengths are, unlike you. it’s confidence because i’m good at it. not like you. oh, and let’s not forget you’re a kim too, jongdae.” joonmyeon smirks. “see you, second place. remember, only losers swim for a measly three hours.”

jongdae’s fuming and he can feel the heat rising to his face. so joonmyeon was there the entire time. he sets his jaw and slams his locker door shut. he hates joonmyeon. hates him to his guts. and he swears to make joonmyeon cry the next tournament. _first place._

☆

the next competition is in a week’s time and as much as jongdae doesn’t want to admit it, joonmyeon’s words pulled at his nerves, made him more determined. desperate. so he’s been practicing every minute he can. he can feel his muscles ache with exhaustion and every step makes his legs cry out in pain, but ache is good. ache is nice. the ache will help him reach the top. so he doesn't stop.

jongdae dives into the water from platform number two. he feels the air right before he dives, feels the water welcome him, feels himself going in with practiced grace. he pushes himself to go faster than he did the previous lap despite his straining muscles. his arms pull the water around him and pushes him forward. streamlined. fast. first.

he can't say that joonmyeon’s the only reason for his over... over- _enthusiasm_. ever since he had been appointed the prestigious position of vice-captain, he realises that being in a position of leadership isn't all fun and games. it's not just ordering people around, nor is it asking one of the newer ones to clean up the changing room all by himself. it's more, much more than that. it's about keeping himself and the team in check, and on task. it's about maintaining his lead over the rest too. so when his teammates rest, whining and groaning all while going over to the benches to rest for a quick five minutes, jongdae doesn't take a breather. instead, he doesn't hesitate to clamber onto the diving board.

jongdae shakes his arms and jumps for a bit, warming his body up. rolling his wrists and ankles, he stretches on the diving block before getting ready. 3, 2, 1 and go! and he's off again, muscles straining and fighting against the water. the water is both a friend and a foe. the water helps calm him down and yet speeds up his heart rate. he doesn't know which it is now. he can't think much.

he approaches the wall and spins underwater, perfected from all the past practices he's had alone. he imagines the gasps of shock and faces of awe. the pride on his coach's face. his teammates’ elated expressions. and he pushes off the bottom of the wall with crazy determination. he will and must beat kim joonmyeon. he _can_.

“aren't you doing a bit too much?” chanyeol asks as he slips into the pool after the five minute break. they're supposed to cool down now, but jongdae’s nerves are still on fire and his blood pumps with adrenaline. it feels good, so jongdae shrugs at the taller and gives him a half-hearted smile. twenty laps to cool down gives him plenty of time to think.

☆

“think about your health, dae.” baekhyun says as they trudge to the showers. the whole team looks exhausted but happy and jongdae doesn’t feel any different. “health?” he asks, glancing at baekhyun for a bit. “yeah, health. you know over exertion is always not good. muscles could get strained, and your back could go against you any time.” the other explains. he looks over at jongdae in worry. “you know, you don't have to push yourself to beat joonmyeon this week. we have a whole school semester to do it.”

jongdae shakes his head, keeping his eyes trained onto the ground. “better now then never. better now than later, baek. i know my body and i know me. you don't have to worry that much.” jongdae squeezes baekhyun’s shoulder and moves away towards the shower cubicles, giving no time for baekhyun to respond.

then jongdae regrets leaving baekhyun there because standing in front of him is kim joonmyeon himself. he has that small smirk tugging on his lips and he looks more than gleeful - he must've overheard jongdae’s conversation with baekhyun. jongdae sighs. “what do you want again, kim.” he's tired of all this arguing and tired of all the snarky remarks.

“second place.” joonmyeon calls, raising his eyebrows at the younger. “i don’t know if you’ll understand what i’m saying with your misplaced brain, but you’re never gonna beat me. not now, not ever.” joonmyeon steps closer to jongdae and jongdae can literally feel his breath on his cheek. this is the closest joonmyeon has been. jongdae isn’t so sure what’s happening. is it the competition nerves getting to joonmyeon making him act this way? “you’ll do well with your muscles right? no breaks, no breather, i’m expecting you to make a personal best.” joonmyeon whispers into his ear and pats his back too hard to be friendly and leaves jongdae more confused than ever. he’s never been that sarcastic.

minseok approaches from behind when joonmyeon leaves the place. jongdae is still rooted to the ground from where he had been standing during his one-sided conversation with joonmyeon, mind reeling. he still can’t quite get ahold of his thoughts.

“hey, are you okay?” minseok asks, placing a hand on jongdae’s shoulder and squeezing. jongdae nods wordlessly. “i saw joonmyeon earlier.” there’s unspoken tension in the air. “don’t bother about what he says. he’s just jealous, okay? you’ve been working hard.” minseok has been his strength all this while and jongdae really is more than grateful. jongdae nods again and smiles listlessly at minseok. “thanks hyung.”

☆

jongdae’s different whenever competitions draw near. he’s not nearly as playful or snarky, and prefers to keep to himself. he closes off from everybody. so on the day of the competition - nationals this time, he hasn’t talked to anyone save for his parents and older brother. even then it had been a nervous thank you and a small nod of the head. it’s gotten worse ever since the talk with joonmyeon because now he has the kind of pressure and absolute need to win. he has to stop joonmyeon from continuing to be haughty. he _has to_.

but there’s a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that this competition isn’t going to go the way he wants it to.

so jongdae warms up in the changing room with his teammates - who are also high-strung from the nerves of the competition, although not as much as jongdae himself. they shake out the nerves, jumping jacks, lunges, stretches. they also try their best to lighten the mood of the room, both baekhyun and chanyeol, the moodmakers of the team. it gets a few laughs here and there but it’s pretty obvious they’re not completely in the mood to make jokes. not when it’s nationals. not when their direct rival, yongsan high is there.

jongdae hears shouts and cheers from the room beside them, which is coincidentally yongsan high and he hates the school a lot more. actually, he just hates joonmyeon. why hate on innocent people when everything’s just joonmyeon’s doing. he hates how joonmyeon can do this so effortlessly and he hates how stuck-up he is. if joonmyeon had been nicer, maybe they’d have been friendly rivals. _joonmyeon basically brought the rivalry between him and jongdae upon himself._ why had joonmyeon chosen jongdae out of all of incheon high’s swimmers?

but the bottom line remains that he hates yongsan high’s precious swimmer, kim joonmyeon. jongdae shivers.

☆

“all 100m butterfly competitors are to report to pool two in five minutes for heats.”

five minutes is all jongdae has left to shake the last of his nerves off. after all, he’s not doing anything new. he’s doing something he loves and something he’s passionate about. he’s going to do his best.

five minutes later, he steps up onto the diving block with nine other competitors from seoul’s top ten schools. they’re the best. they represent seoul’s top ten. jongdae is in the top ten. he’s going to be the first.

it’s only heats and jongdae already feels the tension and everyone’s hunger for the coveted first place. the buzzer beeps and he gets into diving position. _jongdae, you can do this. you’ll do well. you’ll prove them wrong. first place, first place, first place._ the buzzer beeps again and off all ten swimmers go. this time, the water is a friend to him, hugging him with it’s cold, cold arms and pushing him through to the other end of the pool. adrenaline seeps into his veins and he’s more pumped than ever. he makes a somersault near the end of of fifty metre lap and that’s when it happens.

it’s a split second thing. his back flares up. it’s something that’s never happened before. his nerves are on fire and it’s different from the usual hype he gets. it’s internal. it burns. it really, _really_ burns. jongdae can feel the tug on the nerves in his back. he knows there’s something wrong, but he can’t stop. no, he _won’t_ stop. so jongdae pushes himself to the end of the 100m race, telling himself that it’s just a mere fifty more metres that he needs to push through to reach the end. finish it, he reminds himself. and that, he does.

surprisingly, jongdae ends up second, coming a few milliseconds after joonmyeon. his first fifty metres must’ve given him a great headstart because he could feel himself slowing down not on his own accord. joonmyeon smirks at jongdae when he hauls himself out of the pool. he’s having a slight difficulty, and it’s obvious that joonmyeon can see but he doesn’t do anything. jongdae really hates joonmyeon’s smirk. he’s come to see the smug expression too often. (but wait, was that a flash of concern for jongdae? jongdae thinks he saw a look of worry on joonmyeon’s face. it’s probably a hallucination, he muses.)

when he returns to his team who had watched his round, his back isn’t hurting as much so he can walk properly. he does not want to get forced to drop out before the actual competition. he’s seen it happen before. and he’s the vice-captain - he doesn’t want to let his team down. so he keeps his oncoming injury under wraps. so this was why he didn’t feel right that morning.

his coach sees him and beams, as if he’s already won. “good job, jongdae! you’re just a bit behind joonmyeon, just a bit more and you’ll be able to get him.” his coach reaches over to ruffle his hair. and yes, jongdae thinks that this is the reason why he wants the championship title. pride and glory.

☆

the actual competition is in a few hours and in those few hours, jongdae must rest his back. he can’t strain it too much and has to stretch it out. he has to do it all even if it hurts, anything for the championship title. it’s not long before the announcer calls through the speakers again.

“all 100m butterfly competitors are to report to pool two in five minutes.”

it’s real. in five minutes, the best butterfly swimmer will be crowned. and after that, the winning school will be announced. the butterfly swim is jongdae’s first and best stroke, the very one he’s the most confident in. so he plunges without inhibitions.

his back strains against the water, his back on fire in contrast to the icy, cool water surrounding him. it feels good. feels great. jongdae absolutely loves swimming. and he doesn’t know if it’s because he doesn’t want to prolong the pain in his back, or if it’s because of endless practice, day in and day out that he ends up... first place!! he touches the wall with finality and a last push. pulling himself up above the water, he realises that he’s... he’s the first one there!! first place. _first place._

joonmyeon pulls up second and looks frustrated the minute he comes face to face with jongdae’s face. it’s so surreal, it seems like a dream and yet it isn’t because he can see his team jumping from where they’re seated from the corner of his eye. yes, yes, _yes_. he’s done it! he beams proudly and pulls himself out of the pool. he can see the screen as he wipes the water off his body.

kim jongdae. 53:03s.

fifty three seconds is a new personal best for jongdae and it’s also a national best for their age group and jongdae is so, so happy. he pumps his fist into the air and this time, no one looks at him weird.

joonmyeon stalks off, head down and heading towards the changing room. this time, he doesn’t bother about the older boy.

☆

three and a half hours later, incheon high is announced as first place at nationals and the team can’t be any more excited. months and months of training has paid off.

400m freestyle relay - first. 100m freestyle - first. _100m butterfly - first._

jongdae can’t stop looking at the trophy they’ve gotten and he pays no attention to the pain in his back. he can’t stop smiling and he probably looks like a crazed person but he doesn’t really care. first place!! joonmyeon, and his back are problems for another day. he doesn’t care about any of that because he’s so, so, so happy. a few hours ago, he couldn’t get _second place_ out of his head but now... there’s really nothing that can describe how happy he is. baekhyun, chanyeol, minseok, and the rest of the team huddle into a circle, shouting with joy, then dissolving into hugs and the three closest to jongdae find themselves piled on top of jongdae. jongdae snorts with laughter and yeah, nothing can get any better than this.

_first place._

☆

the hype of the win dies down two, three days later, after they’ve all had ample time to rest and a good, satisfying dinner, courtesy of their coach (that burnt a hole in his wallet). there had been many, many instagram posts, both pictures and videos, of their win online, circulated and it made jongdae more than happy. we made it, he thinks. we really did.

he enters the swimming pool arena once again, a week later, their coach having called to start intensive practice again. there’s another competition coming up and even if it’s smaller, there’s no doubt that the team must practice much more to maintain their title. it’s a little burdensome, but the pride they all feel overrides the stress and pressure to stay _first._ jongdae likes how the words roll off his tongue. _first place._

“20 laps for warm up, any stroke.” their coach barks from outside the changing room, a tell-tale sign that the team should be out as fast as possible if they don't want anything more than that. baekhyun groans, causing groans to resound throughout the changing room. jongdae’s sure the coach can hear it too. “but coach,” baekhyun whines as he walks out of the changing room into the pool area. the team trudges behind him. byun baekhyun isn’t the aegyo king for no reason - even if it’s self-proclaimed. “coach, we’re all out of shape. and we want to rest. can we do less, please? just for today, _please?_ ” and it’s so obvious that their coach relents. baekhyun’s looking straight at him with large, round puppy eyes. jongdae’s just glad that he isn’t a victim of baekhyun’s cutesy antics for now. he probably would then give in to anything he wants, even if it’s unwillingly. no one can resist baekhyun when he acts this way, and coach isn’t an exception. their coach just sighs and nods, looking away because he can’t take it anymore. “15 laps.hurry into the pool if you don’t want extra.” 

the team cheers and hurriedly jump into the pool, not wanting to have to do any more than what is required. jongdae jumps in after them, grinning. he claps baekhyun on the back. “you’re a great asset to the team, baek. i really mean it.  no one else could ever do aegyo so confidently.” baekhyun snorts and pokes his tongue out at the other. “anything to get out of 20 warm-up laps, vice-cap.” and he’s off

jongdae takes off after baekhyun, starting with five laps, freestyle. his back doesn’t hurt. nothing hurts, in fact, and this makes him believe that the aching in his back was just the pressure from having to beat joonmyeon at his own game. now that he’s already won, it’s subdued so he pays it little attention. but that had been only the first five laps, freestyle at that. butterfly requires much more technique than freestyle. it needs strength, agility, muscle. it needs calculation and precision. jongdae’s smart, so he knows when to come up for a breath, calculated and accurate timings and the angle in which to go back into the water, perfected. the thing is, even with brains, swimming is nothing without brawn. halfway through his fourth butterfly lap, searing pain hits his back muscles and his shoulders hurt. every time he brings his arms up, his back muscles retaliate with a pull. then he lets his arms touch the water too early. it happens a few times. his back feels too much like an overstretched rubber band. it’s like his back has been extended too much, pushed way too much and he can’t. he comes up for air at the end of the lap and realises that he’s behind the rest. _way_ behind the rest and his coach is looking at him weirdly. so jongdae just inhales a small, quick breath and takes off again. breaststroke, this time.

it’s funny how jongdae has been feeling like shit ever since the competition and yet no one has really noticed. his coach had noticed, of course, his lagging behind, but he said it was okay, that jongdae just needed to speed up. _probably because he was burnt out due to the competition where he got first place._ question is, how burnt out can one be from one mere 100m lap? his coach squeezed his shoulder and told him to push on, and that was it. but jongdae’s okay with it, because his injury is getting better, he guesses. and he wouldn’t be allowed to compete if he was found with an injury. he can hear the mockery from yongsan high, and most importantly, kim joonmyeon, if he didn’t turn up at the next competition, and instead, sporting an injury.

“how weak,” he imagines joonmyeon saying. “just two seconds faster and you’ve strained your back.” and jongdae decides to keep quiet about his back again.

_what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?_

☆

“jongdae! dinner tonight?” chanyeol asks while they’re all showering. jongdae nods as if chanyeol can see and replies with a small hum. so dinner it is, with chanyeol, baekhyun and minseok. they’re at the ddukbokki shop nearby campus compounds, cheap, because “sorry guys, i’m on a tight budget if i’m going to see snsd in two weeks.” baekhyun and his girl groups. jongdae would much rather spend his three hundred thousand won on something more useful - like concert tickets to catch vixx live. or apink. apink’s much better than snsd.

apparently jongdae says it out loud because he gets smacked hard by baekhyun on his arm. “dae, you’re really missing out on life. snsd is the best group ever, once you fall, you’ll never get out. i’ll even forgive you if you sign up for their fansite right now.” and baekhyun looks incredibly serious that jongdae can’t stop himself from laughing. baekhyun looks so, so offended and it fuels the laughter even more. “kim taeyeon is mine, just so you know.” he adds on solemnly.

“i’ve listened to snsd before,” minseok saves jongdae, and baekhyun’s startled. he turns his attention towards minseok and nods expectantly. “and apink _is_ much better.” jongdae snorts again, chanyeol joining in, barking with laughter. they’re all humored except baekhyun, who pulls a long face and kicks jongdae’s shin under the table. _ow._ “hey, don’t go around disrespecting my queens.” and the seal-clapping starts again. driving baekhyun nuts is hilarious.

“let me educate you on the beauties of snsd.” baekhyun says in all seriousness and oh no, maybe they shouldn’t have started on the topic. baekhyun starts rambling about taeyeon’s melodious voice and hyoyeon’s unbelieveable dancing skills, and yoona’s beauty and everything and anything he can find about all of snsd. even jessica jung. chanyeol, minseok and jongdae share meaningful looks with each other before slipping away from the table. baekhyun doesn’t notice because he’s busy looking for taeyeon’s ‘i’ music video to show how much of a goddess kim taeyeon is. 

nope, not today, the other three think. but jongdae really, really loves them. maybe he _should_ tell them about his back, and maybe they’d be able to give him advice... no. no, he thinks, they have expectations of him too. and jongdae doesn’t want to make any situation bigger than it is.

☆

“you’re our only hope jongdae,” his coach reminds every time they go in for training. most of the team whines and retorts when they hear it, but it’s half-hearted. honestly, they know that it’s half true, and that jongdae is the only one, for now, who can beat joonmyeon’s record. joonmyeon’s set the bar high, but jongdae’s set it higher.

it gives jongdae unnecessary stress and he swears his hair is starting to turn white because he’s being bogged down by the pressure. or maybe it’s just the chlorine doing its work.

as they walk, exhausted, towards the showers, minseok pats his back and gives him a reassuring smile. “don’t worry too much about it,” he mutters and jongdae feels better already. minseok always knows how to make people feel better, even if it’s a few words. jongdae hadn’t even said anything, and the older already knew what he was thinking. “you’re in charge of your own body, dae. don’t push too much, you may end up regretting sooner or later.” jongdae nods and smiles in relief. at least someone understands a little of what he’s going through. maybe he’ll tell minseok, but not so soon.

☆

jongdae can’t sleep that night despite minseok’s attempts to comfort him. in his dreams, his teammates tell him to beat his own record. his coach presses him to practice twenty-four seven. his best friends tell him that he can’t be a part of them without beating joonmyeon again. it’s all about winning. win, win, win. he wakes up with cold sweat, and tears starting to form. he doesn’t think he can sleep peacefully any longer, so he decides to watch swimming videos, self-improvement.

☆

a few hours later, he makes his way down to the swimming pool. it’s empty today, and jongdae’s glad for the little reprieve. he’s always liked individual practice a lot more than team practice anyway. it gives him time to think. and the time to try something new. he doesn’t hear splashing resulting from the kicking of his other teammates, he doesn’t hear the beeping of their coach’s whistle. no one around, no stress.

jongdae’s plan for today is to swim and perfect his butterfly again. his coach commented something about his arms going up the wrong way the previous practice and he’s going to make it better. perfection is key. jongdae treads water at the wall of the pool and practices his arm movements first. his back muscles flutter. he stretches them again just in case. starting off slow, he does two and four laps of freestyle and backstroke respectively. nothing hurts and it feels good to be back in the cool water. water will always be home to him, a second nature.

he gives himself a trial lap, just moving his body in tandem to what is expected for butterfly. no arms. it goes swimmingly well. so he goes for another two laps, butterfly. three, four, five. and soon enough, he’s already done eight laps without rest. the training is also to build tenacity and resilience - he doesn’t stop to breathe, only coming out to get air when the move allows for it. otherwise, no breaks. his heart pumps with adrenaline and this, _this_ is what jongdae lives for. the love for swimming and the overflowing passion he has for it.

the fifteenth lap is when it hits in full force. it feels like a hammer pounding repeatedly into his back, his shoulder blades are on fire, his muscles are pulling in all directions, everything flashes white. jongdae stops in the middle of the lap, forcing his legs to tread water again, trying his best to keep his upper body as straight as possible. all he can think is pain, pain, pain. and of course, the pressing need to get out. his breath quickens and his heart palpitates faster - not in excitement, but with a feeling that jongdae can’t describe.

he barely registers a splashing from the other side of the pool, so he’s surprised when a pair of arms wrap around his torso, strong and firm yet gentle. he can feel himself being pulled towards the other side of the pool. someone’s talking but he can’t really recognise the voice nor the words. everything hurts and he just, really wants to sleep. get away from reality for a while.

the person hauls him up from the pool, and lets him sit by the pool, legs dangling in the water. jongdae still doesn’t know who brought him out so he looks to his right where the other is sitting and is shocked. more than shocked, he’s confused. kim joonmyeon? why would kim joonmyeon be here? jongdae furrows his eyebrows and shakes his head. is he dreaming? he looks again and has a double take.

“what...” he stammers out. “what are you doing here?”

“you should rest,” joonmyeon mentions quietly, pointedly ignoring jongdae’s question. this is weird, and complicated for jongdae to understand. joonmyeon... he’s being nice. there’s a lot of distrust on jongdae’s part. “jongdae.” and the latter widens his eyes. the first time in a long time that joonmyeon’s calling him by his real name. not second place, not first place. _nothing related to swimming and nothing related to competitions._ “i know it hurts.” and joonmyeon places a hand on jongdae’s back. he straightens. it does sting, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. “it’s happened to me before, you should really rest. don’t push yourself too much.” and jongdae snaps out of his thoughts.

he recoils from joonmyeon’s touch a little late, but scoots away regardless. he looks scalded. “what are you doing here?” he repeats, incredulous and unbelieving. he’s not going to believe that joonmyeon carried him out of the water of his own accord. he looks around to see if there are any cameras. maybe joonmyeon wants to seem caring to the public, to the school.

“individual practice.” joonmyeon now replies to the question and looks on, concerned. “jongdae, it’s really not good for you to be overworking. it’ll worsen the situation. jongdae, stop swimming for a while.” jongdae has been quiet all this while, taking everything in but it sounds so, so ridiculous.

how can joonmyeon be caring so deeply for him? they’re from rival schools and they’ve been nothing but enemies ever since the start. there’s something fishy going on. unless... “are you trying to stop me from going to the next competition? so that you can take the championship title away from me? i’m not that easy, kim joonmyeon.” the older looks scandalised. “ _what?_ no, no jongdae, you’re reading this completely wrongly. i’m not trying to do anything, you really, really need to rest. rest, recover and recuperate. the three r’s. listen to me.” but jongdae isn’t listening. his mind is whirling and he really isn’t in the mood to hear what joonmyeon is saying because all he’s doing is persuading the vice-captain of incheon high to back out of the next competition. so that joonmyeon can have another first placing under his belt. no way is jongdae going to do it. he faintly hears something about zhang yixing, a dancer friend, and how his back was injured.

whatever. joonmyeon can try as hard as he wants to but no, jongdae isn’t going to back down. joonmyeon can go kiss his ass.

☆

the next time joonmyeon and jongdae meet is in the changing room, getting ready for another small competition that the schools decided to hold as a joint event. and they’re both in the 100m butterfly again. jongdae can’t bear to look joonmyeon in the eye because he can’t afford to be distracted, especially during the race, so he takes extra care and caution to avoid joonmyeon at all costs. but somehow, it’s pretty easy, seeing how joonmyeon isn’t making any more snide remarks at him and his team. jongdae’s not sure if it’s because of their previous win, or if it’s because of jongdae’s back.

the 100m butterfly is the first competition that starts the entire event, the air is tense and yet hyped up. jongdae shakes the nervousness away and goes up onto the diving block. this is what he’s been training for, no need to be worried. he’s been able to clock in fast the past few practices, almost every timed lap is around the 50s mark. his coach’s smile is imprinted in his mind as he starts to swim. the buzzer goes and he dives in with practiced precision. his back tightens but he pays it no mind, it’s happened too many times to count and he’s used to it now. he could get used to it if it means bringing glory and pride to his school. only one goal stays in mind. _first place._

he’s just passed the wall, having done a perfect somersault and push-off when it happens. a shuddering stroke of pain laces through his back and it’s something that he’s never felt before. he stops immediately and his core tightens. it feels too intense to be a minor cramp but the pain takes his mind of what the injury could be. he’s only thinking of how to get out. pain courses through his veins, taking over the adrenaline.

a pair of familiar arms wrap around jongdae and he has a tiny inkling of who it is. he turns his head and it’s kim joonmyeon again. he’s more than grateful. confused, dazed, but grateful for the little break he can take because he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself up any longer.

joonmyeon pulls him to the edge of the pool where a medic is waiting. his coach pulls him out of the water and he takes it upon himself to fall to the ground, curling himself up into a ball. he’s in too much pain to think about politeness. joonmyeon gets out of the pool himself and hurries to jongdae’s side, trying to pry open jongdae’s hands which are tightly curled into fists to help him handle the pain. he can’t really mask it any longer. he can hear his coach talking to him and can see his teammates gathering around with concerned expressions but it’s all a blur. he finds himself carried to the makeshift bed in the changing room.

☆

as it turns out, x-rays show that jongdae has spondylolysis - a small lower back fracture. he’s strained it so much, that he has to wear a lower back brace. that doesn’t really faze him. but when the doctor says “you’ll be banned from swimming for at least one and a half months”, jongdae nearly cries. well, he does. tears roll down his cheeks silently when he listens to what the doctor has to say. more pain meds, rehab, treatment, rest. jongdae limps out, nodding and thanking the doctor softly, head hung low. he didn’t even get to finish his last competition with his head held high.

waiting for him outside are his coach, chanyeol, baekhyun, minseok and... joonmyeon? joonmyeon’s there too and he can’t find it in himself to hate the older’s face and presence. after all, he sacrificed his chance of getting first place to help jongdae out of the water. he didn’t have to. he could’ve shoved his victory in incheon high’s face, more importantly, gloat to jongdae about how jongdae would _never be able to overtake him._ but he didn’t and that’s what jongdae thinks got him to change his mind about yongsan high’s swimming captain.

the moment he steps out, chanyeol, baekhyun and minseok envelop him in a group hug and jongdae can feel the onslaught of tears again. he’s normally cheerful, bubbly, but this situation requires none of that. minseok ruffles his hair and gives him a reassuring squeeze, while baekhyun and chanyeol make jongdae feel a lot better with their lame jokes and loud personalities. he dreads what’s to come when his coach approaches.

“jongdae,” he sighs and frowns in worry. “you really should’ve told us about it. we wouldn’t have done anything to you.” he feels really bad for not having told anyone. his coach has a way of being able to guilt trip people into thinking things. “sorry coach,” jongdae murmurs and musters all that he can to stop himself from sniffing. he has never taken to scoldings well. “focus on your recovery, i want to see a fresh and bubbly jongdae after you get back, you hear me?” it’s better than expected and the injured boy looks up to his coach in admiration, nodding. he’s really glad the people he cares for are taking it well and aren’t disappointed, nor chastising him for his mistake. 

jongdae feels a tap on his shoulder and he turns to come face to face to joonmyeon. “let’s talk?” joonmyeon asks with a slight smile on his face and jongdae nods. he has a lot of unanswered questions.

☆

“i was jealous,” joonmyeon explains when they’re out of sight, sitting on a bench at a nearby park. jongdae had asked the other four to leave, promising that he’d be able to get home just fine. minseok and baekhyun had given him knowing looks and smirks before turning to leave.

“jealous of me?” jongdae’s mildly surprised. minseok was right. but how could joonmyeon, the best swimmer in seoul in their age group, have been jealous of him? “you were always in the centre of attention, even though you’re younger and have less experience.”

“i’m only a year younger, joonmyeon.” jongdae cuts him off and the older gives him a look that tells him to shut up. “well, i was jealous because you were the apple of everyone’s eye and i felt that you could swim so effortlessly while i had to train tirelessly to get to where i was. that’s why i started to say things i didn’t mean.” and jongdae can’t say he doesn’t understand, because he really does. after all, jealousy is nothing foreign to him.

“it doesn’t matter anymore, though.” jongdae sighs, playing with his fingers, resigned to his fate. “i’m going to be away from swimming for a few months. i have to go through rehab and start from square one again. a beginner. jongdae hates to think about the day he goes back into the pool, loose and unprepared.

“i’ll help,” joonmyeon offers and reaches to pat jongdae’s back awkwardly again. he doesn’t know if this is friendship forming because it’s all awkward but he guesses it’s nice, it gives him a warm fuzzy feeling in his heart. it’s probably from the relief of not having an enemy anymore, but much rather a friend to go through his tough times with. “i’ve helped yixing before. and it’s a way of showing my apology.”

jongdae may be unsure of it but there’s really nothing he can lose. who is yixing again? “okay, but you still owe me for all the things you’ve said.” he says, glancing at joonmyeon with a small smile tugging at his lips and cheekbones high. “sure,” joonmyeon laughs and jongdae thinks that yes, this is a new start to things. no more relying on himself.

☆

epilogue

☆

“who knew you’d be the grossest couple on earth,” baekhyun snorts with disgust from his place on the couch. jongdae throws a pillow at the brunette. “shut up, you’re in my apartment. your fault for coming here.” and baekhyun throws him an unimpressed look. “you do the same in my apartment. and the cafe. and the swimming pool. and in school.” jongdae can’t really say much to retaliate but he feels the gentle vibrations from joonmyeon’s chest. jongdae looks up and finds joonmyeon laughing wordlessly, eyes still glued onto the screen of the tv. jongdae smacks his chest. “aren’t you going to back me up?” joonmyeon raises his eyebrows and looks down at jongdae, who’s currently lying against the older. “you can’t deny it though,” he says, and earns him a smack to the thigh.

“yeol, minseok hyung. aren’t you going to-” baekhyun looks over to the other couple lying against the beanbag, not paying any attention to the squabble. he huffs. “i’m leaving.” he sobs dramatically, and storms over to the kitchen to get himself a drink.

minseok pulls away just in time to say in a mocking tone, “maybe it’s time for you to tell taeyeon your true feelings for her,” which earns him a pillow to the face, courtesy of baekhyun.

☆

jongdae never expected rehab to be smooth-sailing and it definitely hadn’t been but it was much, much better with joonmyeon’s help. initially, he was still unconvinced about joonmyeon’s sincerity but every time it came down to the crunch, somehow or rather, he was always there. and he does help. jongdae doesn’t like admitting it, but joonmyeon’s lame jokes always picked him up and he always left the rehab centre smiling.

it was tough, getting back into the water, but he pushed through. he couldn’t stand not being in the water for long, anyway. he pushed himself to the limit but never overexerted under joonmyeon’s watchful eye. whenever he was unmotivated, joonmyeon was there and jongdae felt as if things were really falling into place. he was learning the need to rely on others, that pain is better shared than bottled up, that friends are there to help. chanyeol, minseok, baekhyun, and... joonmyeon too.

joonmyeon as a new edition to his life was something he never expected. he also didn’t expect the things that came with it. scheduled trips to the rehab centre, impromptu noraebang sessions, late-night conversations, dukkbokki almost every day. a pleasant, unexpected addition. and jongdae liked it a lot.

☆

“joonmyeon?” jongdae lifts his head up to look joonmyeon in the eye. “what if you hadn’t been in yongsan high? what if _i_ hadn’t been in incheon high?” his fingers slip easily into joonmyeon’s hand, as if they had been made for each other. “i wouldn’t like to think of life then, without you.” joonmyeon replies smoothly, kissing jongdae’s forehead, holding him close. jongdae chuckles silently and nods, playing with their intertwined hands. “yeah, me too.”

☆

a magikarp alone, or even a gyarados, would be weak against any grass-type pokemon. vulnerable and left to fend for itself in the wild. but when a horde attacks, it attacks in full force and every pokemon has a small role to play in defeating its opponent. safety in numbers and now jongdae really understands it.

jongdae doesn’t have the pressing need to be seoul’s best, seoul’s kim jongbae. because after all, being kim joonmyeon’s _before anyone else_ is all he could every ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments either here or on [LJ](http://91daes.livejournal.com/18584.html) to support the author!


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